Novel Review: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

            Well, then. A book nearly everyone knows about since its movie release in March this year. That’s right, folks. You guessed it. (Or maybe you didn’t, I don’t know.)

            The Hunger Games.

            For a while there I was really hesitant to read it, due to the fact that kids are killing kids. Which, in no way, is excused by Suzanne Collins’ setting and Capitol crap. But I held my head high and read it to get the stupid thing out of my face. I wanted to see what everyone was so crazy about, so desperate to have everyone else read, so . . . glad with. Well, I read it.

            And I don’t see what the hubbub was so big for. (Mine and my mother’s theory is that it’s because there are no more Harry Potter books or movies.)

            But anyway.

            You know, usually I try to make my reviews concise and short, but I’m putting everything I felt into this one.

            The book started off with Katniss Everdeen being a pretty strong female character. She was stoic and didn’t like to show emotion so no one would take advantage of her and her family. That quickly changed, for no apparent reason. One moment she wants to be stoic and strong to intimidate other tributes from the rest of the Districts, then the next she’s all happy and jolly, or really moody and PMS-style angry, without cause for either. Oh, and the fact that she feels she doesn’t have any friends, yet acts like a complete dolt in the interview with Caesar? That really didn’t make any sense at all. Then, in the arena, her narrative and thoughts are so scattered at points it’s hard to follow what she’s thinking at all. At the end, she’s finally back to her somewhat strong self, but not really. She changed, but for the worst.

            And Peeta? Don’t even get me started. His “humble” act was aggravating when his kindness spilled over into sappiness around Katniss, and their brief talk on the roof before leaving for the Games was so brief in fact, I had no clue why it was put in there besides a rottenly failed attempt to give such a terribly-based book substance that would make it “acceptable” to the rest of levelheaded society. Anyway, Peeta’s sudden change in the arena—from nice guy to killer—was unexpected and random seeing as how he automatically switches back like it never happened. What the heck? Where did that kill come from? Peeta, you make no sense, and you’re such a flat and annoying, predictable character I’m really annoyed. Really.

            Speaking of romance, the attempted insertion of a romantic subplot failed. Miserably. Katniss never had any natural chemistry with Peeta, and don’t argue that that would be the intended purpose because of the Hunger Games “forcing” them together. She could just have easily killed him because he could just as easily have killed her. And she thought about it at the end as he raised his knife, so don’t tell me she was “conflicted” about Gale. That aspect was merely touched upon, if that. The excessive kissing and surface romance bubbling up through the dregs of scattered events and children’s’ deaths was enough to make me want to vomit.

            Oh, yeah. That. The violence. Not pleased at all. In terms of blood and gore, the violence was minimal, but in terms of content? Kids killing kids, being forced into an arena by the Capitol to fight to the death for entertainment? Yeah, in no way is that acceptable. There are areas in the writing world that should never be touched upon because they’re just wrong, and this is one of those areas. Imagine being twelve and given a knife, shoved into a ring and told to kill your older sibling. That happens every day in countries where it’s hidden. Kids kill each other for real, so why would you even want to write about such a topic in such a way when it can be touched upon just as forcefully with other, less dark ways. And believe me, a dark spirit lingers about this book.

            That reminds me. The Capitol. The way Collins passed them off, they seem less and less imposing every time we’re introduced to them; lazy and careless. They hardly seem intimidating besides the fact that they hold the Hunger Games every year as a punishment, but in terms of plot this is a weak bone in the seam of the Capitol’s spine. Or do they even have one? I can’t tell, the way they were written.

            With scattered, shallow writing and flat characters all around—unimposing, stereotypical villains and boring protags—I marvel that this book has been taken as such a “literary” “achievement.” (I separate these words because neither of them can be attached as a label to this book.) Suzanne Collins, while seemingly popular with this series, struck the flattest of notes and never recovered, for all 378 pages of inconsistency. Collins, quit your day job. Seriously. One flipped page out of Ten.

Novel Review: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan

            Have I mentioned lately that the Percy Jackson movie was crap? No? Let me say it again, then. I hate that movie.

            It’s crap.

            There.

            Now, onward with the review.

            I said in my last post that I loved the first Percy Jackson book. It sets the stage in a five-book saga that really grabs you and won’t let go. Ever heard of OMC Syndrome? One More Chapter Syndrome hits all of us, mostly at night when we want to sleep, but the book makes us diseased—our hands are attached to it, eyes glued, and we can’t put it down. We have to have one more chapter….

            Anyway, when I started Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Sea of Monsters, I had no idea what to expect, really, and I had a bit of a hesitation as much as I love the series. Would the debut lead into a strong sophomore novel? Or would it fall flat and leave us wanting? I needed to find out. So in I delved.

            I was not disappointed.

            The characters were as strong as ever, and with Percy’s new family secret revealed, you see other sides of him that are at first not-so-likeable, then his noble hero qualities come out and you like him even more. And Annabeth? Man, she’s BA. That girl kicks butt. Luke was a jerkbag, as usual, only more so in this book. The tie-in with Grover’s quest was also really innovative. We weren’t left hanging wondering what happened to our dear satyr friend.

            I liked how the other Halfbloods were incorporated more in this one, too. And the Sea of Monsters’ location? I smiled, and getting me to show any emotion while reading is difficult. Props to you, Rick Riordan. Your sophomore Percy Jackson book was full-blooded and a kicker. I can’t say you punched me in the face, but you certainly gave the first book a run for its money. Eight flipped pages out of Ten.

Novel Review: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

            How many of you have heard, by way of cinema, the name Percy Jackson? Raise your hands. That many? Thought so. Now; how many of you associate this “good movie” with a book you will probably never read? Yeah, thought so.

            Okay, let me start off by writing off the movie ENTIRELY. That piece of pig vomit is nothing compared to Rick Riordan’s creative and innovative work entitled Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. I read the book not knowing what to expect. The crap movie gives you high expectations, and I’m not saying they weren’t met. By far, they were. But these expectations are schnozzle compared to the deal you get with the first Percy Jackson installment.

            First, let me start off by saying the narrative and voice is incredibly entertaining. You laugh as much as you frown from tension. Percy’s a clever kid, and Riordan gives him a relatable, warm voice you could listen to for hours. All the characters in the book are great, and I love how Annabeth is such a strong female figure in it. You’d think they’d make her the damsel in distress Percy has to save time and again, like in Greek mythology, but she’s far from that. Sure, spiders freak her out, but who isn’t freaked out by spiders? My older brother pretty much dies every time he sees one. (For me, it’s earwigs, but hey. I’m weird.)

            The ways Riordan incorporates Greek mythology into the modern day is really fascinating, as well. The monsters are great and oft times pop up in unexpected places. And the short, punch-packing explanations of the monster origins save us a long-winded Greek epic that needs to be explained. They’re common knowledge and you can recognize them off the bat once the heroes that previously fought the monsters are mentioned.

            I didn’t know what to expect coming into the book, but I really enjoyed it once I delved in. I can’t wait to pick up the rest of them. And believe me, they’re going on my keeper shelf. Eight flipped pages out of Ten.

Movie Review: The Odd Life of Timothy Green

            I like movies. Even more, I like movies that make me feel. Those are rare. So when I walked into theater 6 to see The Odd Life of Timothy Green, I knew the film’s quirkiness would grab me from the beginning. The previews looked promising (but we all know what that means), and I couldn’t wait to see it despite my trailer-rule-of-thumb misgivings.

            The movie started off with a punch when you realize that the two parents (Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton) are unable to have kids, and the emotion Garner displays is completely believable. When they take that one night to imagine what their kid would be like, I felt so sad for them. They couldn’t have one of their own. They’d never experience that. Man.

            Punch in the face number one.

            Then when Timothy appeared? That was so cute. The kid’s acting was praiseworthy, and I say he has a great future ahead of him. But I digress.

            Let’s see, how many times did this movie punch me in the face?

            Great plot and relatable, believable, lovable, hateable characters? Punch number two.

            Sweetness that relates to life and relationships, and how the touch of one kind person can reach so many people in one fell swoop? Punch number three.

            Timothy’s very essence of kindness and showing love to everyone he meets? His lack of judgment and the honesty he portrays that touched not only his parents, but the people his parents came into contact with, including the stiff-necked adoption agents? Punch number four.

            I will confess something that has only ever happened once in the entirety of my movie watching career. Timothy Green made me cry. Honest-to-goodness tears that leaked out onto my face. Silent sobs that shook my shoulders and chest. I hated the ending (no spoiler alert), but at the same time I loved it. I understood it, but it still made me so sad. Sad and touched and happy and . . . all kinds of crap. Good crap.

            The only thing that could have been put into the film was a little explanation of where Timothy had come from. That would have topped off the French silk pie with chocolate shavings. Mmmmmmm….pie.

            With four punches in the face and counting, not to mention the sheer goodness of this film, I give Timothy an unprecedented Six kernels out of five. (Yes, I have the power to bend fractions. This is my blog. I call the shots.) Congratulations, Timothy Green. You made me cry.