The Trailer's Rule of Thumb

     As most of you have probably noticed over your movie-watching careers, movie trailers have been correctly labeled: teasers. However, they don't necessarily present the movie in the best manner possible. For instance, they make something out to be funnier than it actually is. I.e. Planet 51. The animated feature promised to be really hilarious and ironic in the best sense. Though, upon viewing the film, we find that the trailer promised more than the filmmakers could deliver. I found myself so bored I left theater 9 before it was over.
     Or like with The Woman in Black. That promised to be hair-raising! Well . . . the trailer did. The movie fell flat in the "scary" section of its DNA. It amused me instead of scaring me.
     So here's the trailer's rule of thumb: don't make expectations. Unless the producer/director/actor is someone who hasn't disappointed yet, try not to make high expectations for movies. I know, I know. It's hard not to, and even I do it. But if the trailer deceives you, don't feel bad; a lot of them do.
     On that note, here's a list of movies I'm looking forward to this summer season.

     1) The Avengers (May 4) - Like any good superhero movies (and there have been plenty these past few years), this one looks extremely promising; I can base the awesomeness on the success of Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, Hulk, and Captain America. Throw them all together, and you have The Avengers. I. Am. Excited.
     2) The Chernobyl Diaries (May 25) - While I didn't see the Paranormal Activity franchise, I know I probably wouldn't have been scared from the reports I heard. However, The Chernobyl Diaries look promising (and plagiarized from an idea I had if I'm right about what inhabits the city).
     3) Dark Shadows (May 11) - If there are two things that go excellently together, it's Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. The comedic spin off the 70s TV show is promising to be a good laugh for hardcore fans and newcomers alike. I look forward to it.
     4) Snow White and the Huntsmen (June 1) - I'm not a fan of Kristen Stewart after her non-emotion in Twilight (which literally gave me a headache), but this looks intense.
     5) Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (June 22) - Seriously. The title gives itself the right to be watched.
     6) Brave (June 22) - I. Love. Pixar. And I. Love. Scotland. Mix the two, and I'm in love.
     7) Prometheus (June 8) - While I'm not fond of the Alien franchise, I look forward to Prometheus and its thriller promises.
     8) Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (June 8) - This promises to be just as funny as the first two, if not funnier.
     9) The Amazing Spider-Man (July 6) - After Toby Maguire's horrid performance in the last two Spiderman movies, it's time for a comic-based reboot. And I look forward to the story on the big screen.
     10) The Dark Knight Rises (July 20) - Christian Bale, while not the best Batman, has been a pretty good success (despite his lozenge-needing vocals in The Dark Knight). I hope Chris Nolan finishes the franchise on a high note instead of a dumpster high-dive.

     You can be guaranteed I'll review each and every one of these and post them on here. I look forward the movie-packed summer season and bringing you the facts, folks. Hats off to the future.

Movie Review: Lockout

Alex

            With most actiony, kick-in-the-face, bad-guys-break-out-of-jail sorts of movies, you don’t expect much story to follow all the “cool” stuff that happens. Oh, not to mention the spy stuff that CIA agents can pull off with Hollywood magic. I didn’t know exactly what to expect with Lockout because while the trailer promised “story” to go with the punches, we all know the rule of thumb about trailers (if you don’t, I’ll post something on it after this).

Hydell

            However, when I came to rest my hiny in theater 1, I found myself both entertained and satisfied with testosterone-fueled action.

            The story begins with a crime that wasn’t actually committed, and the said-committer, Snow (Guy Pearce). is being interrogated by a guy named Rupert (to which he says, “I'm being beaten up by a guy called Rupert?”). While we know next to nothing about Snow at this point—and the fact that he takes the briefcase from a questionable general—we do know that he’s gonna be one of those characters you really like, good or bad.

            The story progresses from here with a surprising psych-thriller kind of feel to it. While some of the scenes can be choppy at times and run a little fast so you’re left breathless, the rest of the movie flowed pretty well. Personally I would have liked to have seen more badness from the bad guys. I mean, they were deadly convicts after all. HOWEVER; I did like the chemistry between the two brothers Hydell and Alex. Joseph Gilgun and Vincent Regan (respectively) worked well together there.

Snow and Emilie

            Another note: the President’s daughter Emilie (Maggie Grace) wasn’t exactly the annoying female sidekick I’ve come to expect from Hollywood. She was pretty BA without being totally annoying and still retain her feminine strongness.

            Overall the movie came out really well. Mace’s ramblings served well as a psych factor in the end, and I found myself smiling every time Snow let loose one of his sarcastic daggers. Lockout earns a 4 ½ kernels out of 5.

Movie Review: The Three Stooges

            Ever had one of those moments where you want to hang a sign on your chest that says, “Hello, I ate crow with a side of humble pie?” Yeah, that was me yesterday.

            Since its conception by the Farrelly brothers, I have cringed to think about the idea of a modern-day Stooges movie. I grew up with Moe, Curly, and Larry, and I dreaded to think about what some nutcase in Hollywood could possibly due to butcher the three I always looked forward to watching on Sunday and Saturday mornings. When the trailer released, I sweated bullets.

            However . . . allow me to be the first to hang that sign around my neck.

            During the beginning of the movie, nestled in my seat in theater 10, I watched with narrowed eyes, wary of any inconsistencies and non-Stooge movements. About ten minutes in, I smiled, eyes still narrowed. Thirty minutes went by, and I let out a laugh. By the end of the movie, I had slapped my thigh and pointed at the screen and let out guffaws of unchained laughter. It was funny!

            I can hardly say anything about story here. The premise of it was innocent and warm-hearted, like any good Stooge sketch from back when. The orphanage where the Stooges were raised is threatened by foreclosure, and the boys set out to raise the money to save it. Along the way, they engage in very astute Stoogely comedic situations, with plenty of great classic moments to remember your favorite episodes to. The Farrelly brothers paid some great homage to quick-wit signs with a plaque in the law firm: Ditcher, Quick, and Hyde. Get it?

            The Stooge execution was near flawless (the only thing being, Curly had grown a few inches). Sean Hayes (Larry), Will Sasso (Curly), and Chris Diamantopoulos (Moe) were outstanding in paying the original three their dues.

            All the original shtick can be found in this movie, even the ol’ round-the-flagpole bit. I plan on seeing it again and definitely want to buy it when it comes out on Blu-Ray. Five kernels out of five.