TOP 10 IRRELEVANT GOOGLE IMAGES RESULTS: Heart of Flame

            Passing this up would be a crime.

            Tonight, while searching for a heart made of fire with the key words “heart of flame,” Google gave me some interesting and perplexing image results that part of me cannot fully comprehend. Seeing as the task of singling out only five became impossible, you can consider this post a bonus round. We have a Top 10!

RESULTS FOR “HEART OF FLAME”

10)       This conductor:

Perhaps the relevance came up not in text, but in passion.

This conductor has a heart filled with flaming passion for music!

9)         Someone burning at the pyre:

While I know this *technically* isn’t a pyre, it certainly looks

like neither someone burning at the stake nor some strange

sacrificial ritual. Therefore, I’m calling it a pyre.

8)         An Alpine Grim Reaper backed by a Viking face:

I’m thinking this Reaper is bringing the flame to his frozen home world

as a sort of reviving effect for the healthy people. A paradox, you say?

Well, when you live in the cold climates and you’re the only Reaper,

wouldn’t you get tired, too?

7)         A samurai helmet:

The only things I can think of are 1) I hope this isn’t real, 2) if

it isn’t, that’s an awesome custom job, and 3) Japan *is* the

Land of the Rising Sun.

6)         Ella Fitzgerald:

Explain this one to me, because I don’t know.

5)         This waterfall:

The waterfall, perhaps, symbolizes Yellowstone, and beneath Yellowstone

is the volcano, so…yes? No? (I think we’ll go with no.)

4)         The Not-Bad-Obama meme:

To explain this, I’m going to show you a Bad Translator screenshot I took myself.

Either way, I still don’t think it makes any sense.

3)         A Munsters portrait:

…?

2)         The Virgin Mary:

I don’t know if I find this result more funny or confusing. Mary’s heart

in this picture is neither a flame or on fire, so I can’t see any possible

relevance that could be taken from this in *any* way. Ever.

1)         A random banner:

So far as my research suggests, Hatfest is a music and culture festival.

That’s as far as the research goes, because I can’t see what this

has to do with my search input.

            Again, readers, I’m not sure why Google is so weird, and the Internet so labyrinthine, but I can’t honestly complain that it bothers me too much. In fact, though I run into a lot of “If it hadn’t been for my horse, I wouldn’t have made it through college” situations, more often than not they afford me a good deal of humor. Yes, there are moments when shaking my head is the only thing I can do besides weep, but in these moments a peculiar and inexplicable loveliness is found. People are weird; *I* am weird. Therefore, I am not alone.

            And neither are any of you. The ranks are open. Come join us!