Novel Review: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

            Okay. This is my last review for the night, and I’ll have to see more movies and read more books to get on the review train again. I haven’t been caught up in a while, so this is rather relieving for me. That stupid sticky won’t stare me down anymore. Ha! VICTORY.

            Moving on.

            Since I saw it on Wal-Mart shelves (I know, not the best place to book spy), I’ve wondered what Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children was all about. Recently I ordered it and polished all 348 pages of it off in three days. Oh, it was that good.

            The story moves kind of slowly at first. We’re introduced to a not-so-hard-to-figure-out MC (main character) named Jacob Portman, and his grandfather tells stories about an island where the sun never stopped shining and peculiar children lived, himself included. Well, Jacob’s progression from his grandfather’s death to finally stepping through to the world that was told of if a somewhat tedious experience, but there are moments where you’re grabbed by the face and forced to keep reading, like when Jacob first finds the house. Then when he goes there and opens the trunk.

            When it comes to character, all the peculiar children—and even Miss Peregrine—were extremely well-written. But Jacob fell flat in places. Sometimes he just seemed like some whiny rich kid who was chasing after his grandfather’s stories for answers. Other times he was the heroic and conflicted hero we all want to see win. The flip may have been intentional, but the progression was slower than it needed to be.

            Two things saved this book: (1) the unique and refreshing integration of strange antique photographs to make the story come to life, and (2) the crazy-creative villains and wide-open space for a series. I. Hated. Dr. Golan. Period. What a jerkbag! Oh, I knew there was something fishy about him, especially when he was at the airport, but the end clinched it for me. And what an end for him. Ha. Take that, nosy parker.

Ransom Riggs’ debut novel could have used some major polishing in some areas, but when Jacob transformed into the hero (finally) I couldn’t wait to keep turning the pages. For Pete’s sake, Emma was such a BA, she outshined Jacob the entire time. No pun intended.

One thing I didn’t appreciate was the unnecessary use of excessive language. A cuss here or there doesn’t bother me, but when you take the Lord’s name in vain? There’s never any call for that, I don’t care how dramatic a scene may be. Minor cusses, fine. Misusing God’s name, not okay. That’s a huge factor in lowering the book’s score. I give it Four flipped pages out of Ten.

The Book Cover Rule of Thumb

I almost fell asleep, Roland March.

            We’ve all heard it: “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Yet we do it anyway, and for good reason. We read with our aesthetic appeal before we read with our logic center. (Fancy words for, “Good artwork attracts.”) But why is that? Bah, I don’t know. I’m not here to explain some high-end scientific fact. I’m here to lay down a jam, son.

            Sort of.

            What I want to say is this: Judge books by their covers, but at discretion. For example, looking back I can see that Back On Murder by J. Mark Bertrand’s cover looks like it’ll be a cookie-cutter cop story about a rogue middle-ager looking for his identity. That’s exactly what we received. And Eon: Dragoneye Reborn by Alison Goodman told us to prepare for a mystical journey through a fantastic land. Which is also what happened.

            But then there are exceptions, the ones that fool you. For instance, Dragon’s Blood by Jane Yolen gives us the idea we’re about to receive some cheap sci-fi knock-off and we’ll be disappointed. Far from it! That book is rife with creativity and originality. It was great! Or Issym by Jessie Mae Hodsdon, for another example. The cover gave us the impression we would get a fantastic fantasy bursting at the seams with adventure and grit. Dragons! Woo! Were we disappointed? Uh, yeah.

WHERE IS YOUR GRIT?!?!

            Here’s the lowdown. Covers serve a purpose. They’re supposed to attract the reader so that any other book in mind gets forgotten and the eye-catching one gets picked up. Yeah, I know. Cheap media influence: Shiny is better. But alas. That’s what we’ve gotten into. But that can be overcome! Despite the cover, the writing and story are always what prevail in the land of writing. While the cover may be glossy and pretty, if the writing sucks, forget it. So judge books by their cover, but only after you’ve had a taste of the writing and story within. Then you’ll see just how appealing the book really is.

Movie Review: The Avengers

            My fellow superhero nerds.

            It is my duty to announce to you that all is not lost! Marvel Studios, in pulling Disney’s rights, have completely overturned their bad reputation for awful superhero adaptations and made one whoopin' movie entitled The Avengers.

            I’ve been on Marvel’s ride of highs and lows starting with Spiderman and ending with the horribly-written X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I need not name all the disappointments in between because I only have so much attention span for terrible cinema, as do you, I imagine. But, just to remind you and make you see the studio’s progress, look back for a moment on Ang Lee’s Hulk.

            A moment of silence for those weeping . . . .

            Thank you.

            ANYWAY. Ever since Iron Man came out, and rumors of Captain America, and Thor started circulating, I have sat and rocked back and forth in impatient anticipation for The Avengers. The novelist in me LOOOOOOOVES when characters cross paths and end up working together. Avengers did not disappoint.

Arguably one of my favorite characters, Hawkeye

            From minute one—one!—action is the key component, and then the story paces out from there with the barbed hook of “WHOA” stuck in the viewers’ mouths. I got so excited, I downed a whole box of Reese’s Pieces within the first ten minutes. (Sadly, I had no more food for the rest of the movie.) A lot of the middle is spent aboard S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Helicarrier, and this serves for good interactions between the Avengers. However, just when you think everything is safe and secure, WHAM! More action intertwined right with the story! Nothing is random! Everything makes sense! The characters are consistent and keep to who they are! And comic book lore is followed to the letter! HUZZAH! MARVEL SUCCEEDS IN CREATING AN AWESOME PIECE OF CINEMA ART!

            To say the least, I have not had the chance to park it in a theater seat and enjoy this movie again, and with the busy summer schedule of hopefuls coming out, I don’t know if I’ll be able to. (I shed a tear here.) However, this is one to add to the Blu-Ray list, FOR SURE. Nerds rejoice! Marvel is in big business! Seven big kernels out of five.

            P.S. Stay after all the credits. It’s so worth it.

Movie Review: Safe

            Answer me honestly: Who doesn’t like a good action-suspense movie fueled with nothing but testosterone? (And well-written testosterone at that!) Jason Statham had barely blipped on my celebrity radar until I saw Safe.

Luke Wright, the bad a**

            Not to give too much of the story away, Luke Wright (Jason Statham) screws up a match he was supposed to lose and his boss ends up losing a looooot of money on that match, as well as the people who hired him to set the match up: the Russian mob. Needless to say, the Russians get mighty mad and go after Wright. Wright ends up homeless.

            Meanwhile, in China, a super-genius eleven-year-old named Mei is kidnapped into doing the Triads’ dirty work in New York City. They have her memorize a sequence of numbers, but in transit to get the second sequence, the Russians spirit her away to try and get the numbers out of her. She escapes them and ends up with Wright. And everything—the story, the action, the corruption, the gun fighting—escalates from there in one whirl of testosterone.

            Now, when I think about “T-Films,” as we’ll call them, I think of the 80s movie Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Explosions, muscles, car chases, helicopters, guys gettin’ their skulls severed in half with saw blades. The works. However, the dialogue, the writing, and the overall plot structure suffers because of all the testosterone infused into the film. Safe does not suffer from this plague.

            Multiple stories intertwine you into the world of underground NYC corruption, and you’re fascinated and outraged at once. You root for Wright, pray that Mei doesn’t fall into the wrongs hands or say something that could get her shot, and wonder what’s gonna happen each time the scenes transition. Things are revealed slowly, making the pacing of the story wonderfully juicy, and the watcher doesn’t feel inundated with useless facts about the characters. Everything is meaningful; everything has substance. It couldn’t have been written any better.

Mei, the Genius

            The characters are real, and the plot could happen right under our noses. And you’re served a butt-load of action and butt-whooping, along with a nice dash of thriller to cleanse the palette. Safe was played anything but, and the results were savory, to say the least. Five kernels out of five.